Effectively ASK and really INVITE
By Susanne Nelson
Have you ever moved into a new neighborhood and been invited to attend a nearby church? If the person asking you was Catholic and invited you to attend their church, it may have surprised you. Why don’t Catholics invite others more often to their church? Most Catholics I’ve asked about this say they don’t invite because they don’t know how. Some have simply never even given it a thought.
Really effective.
In Go and Make Disciples: A National Plan and Strategy for Catholic Evangelization in the Unites States, published by the U.S. bishops, we are called to “effectively ask and really invite” others—whatever their social or cultural background—to come and join us. Many of us have put this call on hold. We’re still trying to figure out what “effective” and “really” mean. I might think I’m living a healthy spiritual life, but when it comes to making a difference by inviting others to share our faith, I hesitate.
Spirituality is about leading my life, not just letting it happen to me. Every person has some kind of spirituality, some way of seeing beyond the surface of things and connecting with the hidden energy of life. Authentic Christian spirituality is all that and more. It moves us to embrace Christ and the world. It is integrated with all of life, connecting the values of the gospel to the many forms culture takes. How then is the spirituality of the evangelizer unique?
An evangelizer draws on the gifts of his or her baptism to bring the gospel into every human situation with the sure conviction that the gospel’s power will dray people and society to a better place. An evangelizer lives at the cutting edge, where gospel hope faces real world joy and fulfillment as well as doubt, pain and disillusionment.
The hope within you.
Perhaps the foundation virtue of the evangelizer is hope. “Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence…” (1 Peter 3:15-16). The good news is not sad or bitter, nor is it condemning rhetoric. It is the proclamation that God has a plan for our well-being and this plan is being fulfilled in our world as we speak and live.
An aura of hope and wholesomeness, sure direction and empowering energy characterize the personality of the evangelizer. Evangelizing spirituality becomes real in deliberate actions. The “effectively ask and really invite” part of evangelization comes alive through carefully spoken words.
Welcome them.
So how do we effectively ask and really invite others to our faith community? There are many ways, of course. But here is one way with seven steps, spelling out WELCOME. And it is an effective way, especially if you practice it on a regular basis.
Where? – Seek a congenial place and occasion. Choose a time and place that are nonstressful to the other person. This will depend on the situation. Standing in a grocery line or walking through the parking lot may be safe for some, while a soccer field, a Tupperware party, a clubhouse, or a coffee shop work better for others. Discerning the right place will be easier if you do two things: put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and consider the other person’s needs and interests more than your own.
Exchange – Chat awhile. Exchange pleasantries. A congenial conversation is one of life’s joys and a gift from the Holy Spirit. Begin by talking about a mutual experience—the game, the food, the weather, your garden, or hundreds of other things. Be interested in the other person, not merely in your own agenda.
Like interests – Search for common ground. During your conversation, listen for some interest or need that relates to something your parish is doing, such as prayer, social outreach, art, music, ongoing education, Bible study, healing ministry, or grief counseling. If possible, share how and why you value belonging to your parish community. Give an example of how participating in this faith community makes a difference in your life.
Come join us! – Invite the person. Make the connection between something in the person’s life and something your parish is doing. Ask the person to attend that event with you. Make sure they understand how the parish activity fits with their interests or needs at the moment. Ask for their phone number or e-mail so you can follow up with him or her.
Overall – To make their participation as positive as possible, make sure they know the overall logistics. Check to be sure they know the date, time, directions, who else will be there, and what will be happening. They will then know what to expect. Answer their questions. Some people, for example, feel they don’t have the appropriate clothes to wear to a church activity. Some are afraid they will be asked personal questions. Reassure them. If you are able to, offer to pick the person up and take him or her home after the event.
Meeting others – If you are not transporting the person to the event, offer to meet him or her there. Acknowledge their presence. Introduce them to others. Draw them into conversations with people you know.
Extend the grace – Arrange follow-up. At the end of the event, ask the person how he or she enjoyed the experience. Invite them to the next session or to another event at the parish. Offer to answer any questions that may have come up, and if a question stumps you, promise to look into the matter and get back to them.
Familiar with Christ.
As each invited person becomes familiar with the parish community, he or she will become familiar with Christ as well. The person you have invited will be more connected to Christ than before you extended your invitation.
You may be gently encouraging some to return to the practice of their faith after many years. They come back because you care and ask.
You may be inviting others to embrace faith for the first time. In fact, some people may have lived in your neighborhood for many years and yet have never been invited to your parish for any reason. They come because you care and you ask.
Practicing these seven steps will make you parish a WELCOME place.
In addition, your own spirituality will be more authentic because you have chosen to put it into action by learning how to effectively ask and really invite someone else to share your faith.
Suzanne Nelson is director of religious education at Resurrection Parish, Burtonsville, MD. This article will appear in a future issue of Share The Word.
For your prayerful reflection.