For the second year, the Catholic Diocese of Cleveland invited couples who are grieving infertility, miscarriage, prenatal or neonatal death to participate in the Mass of Silent Sorrow. Auxiliary Bishop emeritus Roger Gries celebrated the liturgy on Oct. 20 at the Cathedral of St. John the Evangelist.
“This kind of grief is often suffered in silence, even within families,” said Jeanne Marie Miles, director of the diocesan Office for Worship. “Our hope in offering this special liturgy is to give parents and families an opportunity to experience the comfort of the Christian community and of the Eucharist in their sorrow.”
Bishop Gries shared his own story about learning in his teens that his mother had miscarried a child years before.
“Now,” Bishop Gries said, “I tell people that I have three brothers – one living with God and two living on earth. Remember that God loves you -- and there’s nothing you can do about it,” he added.
After the homily, the bishop and the congregation watched in profound and prayerful silence as couples and individuals came forward to light a memorial candle for their children who had died – or for the children “that never were” for the families who suffered infertility.
The lit candles were placed at the feet of a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary and the infant Jesus. Following the memorial candle-lighting, Bishop Gries commended the children and their families to the care of God and the Blessed Virgin. Even after the liturgy, several men came forward to stand silently and sorrowfully before the burning candles -- and to light a candle if they had not done so during Mass.
There was great diversity in age, ethnicity and the number of family members who gathered for the Mass and to light candles. There also was a great deal of sadness expressed in tears – no matter how many years had passed – among those attending the Mass and during the candle-lighting.
A few families were overheard talking about their losses outside the cathedral after the liturgy. “The Mass was so beautiful,” one person said.
Another family said that the mother and mother-in-law attended last year’s liturgy and were so moved that they convinced the husband (father) and father-in-law to attend this year.
This event was the second diocesan Silent Sorrow Mass. The Office for Worship, together with the Human Life Office, will continue to offer this liturgy annually in October, which is Respect Life Month, as well as the month of the rosary.