“The wedding is not the end, it is the beginning of the marriage,” Bishop Edward Malesic told members of West Side Catholic Couples during their biennial speakers series April 11 at St. Sebastian Parish in Akron.
“Taking Your Marriage From Good to Great” was the theme of the half-day program that included an optional Mass, speakers and confession opportunities. Bishop Malesic’s talk focused on “The Miracle of Forgiveness and Selflessness.”
The bishop explained that marriage is a vocation, something parents should talk about in front of their children. “You lead by example … Your marriage catechizes the next generation,” he added.
Selflessness and selfishness are important factors in marriage. Selfishness implies “you exist for me,” the bishop said, while selflessness implies that “I exist for you.”
Marriage is a covenant, not a contract, he said, pointing out it’s not transactional and there is no “termination clause” in marriage. Rather, it is a sacrament in which two people choose to give themselves completely to each other. “It’s the physical expression of the spiritual reality of two becoming one … The two of you in a marriage are the outward sign of God’s love. As St. Paul said, ‘Married love makes visible God’s invisible love,’” the bishop said.
That doesn’t mean the couple won’t hurt each other, which is where forgiveness comes into play. “Forgiveness is not optional … You can feel hurt, but you must forgive. Jesus forgave even those who crucified him,” the bishop said.
He explained that forgiveness is important because “Without forgiveness, there is no healing. Without healing, there is no reconciliation. Without reconciliation, there is no unity. And without unity, there is no sacrament.”
Marriage is for the good of spouses, with heaven as the ultimate goal, the bishop told program attendees. “My prayer for you is that you continue to give yourselves to each other sacramentally and sacrificially, that you forgive each other sincerely and frequently and don’t rely just on each other … We can’t get to heaven on our own,” he said, reminding them of God’s role in our lives.
“God is the author of marriage … You didn’t invent it … We must follow his law,” the bishop said.
West Side Catholic Couples has been meeting for about 20 years. It consists of small groups of six to eight married couples from parishes throughout Summit County who meet in a book study format to strengthen and support each other in their common identity as Catholic families and to build up the local Church. Groups meet monthly in homes from October to May to pray, reflect on Gospel readings, have discussions and enjoy time together. Every other year the group promotes faithful Catholic marriages by hosting its speaker series. For more information, email Dave or Kathleen Myers at DJMyersSTL@hotmail.com.