“You had an idea of who I was (before) and now you’ll see who I really am,” Elvis Grbac told the 50 fathers and sons who attended the third annual “To the Heights” father/son retreat April 26 at the Center for Pastoral Leadership in Wickliffe.
Presented by Theology of the Body Cleveland, the retreat was an opportunity for attendees to improve their relationship, said Rafe Lewis, Theology of the Body associate who organized the event.
Grbac, a former NFL quarterback who teaches freshman theology at Saint Ignatius High School and coaches quarterbacks there, offered retreatants a look at his family dynamic, especially his relationship with his father and his three children.
His parents and two older siblings escaped Communism in Croatia and lived in a refugee camp in Europe. They could have immigrated to Australia, Canada or elsewhere, “but my dad had a dream of coming to America, so they waited.” In 1968, they arrived here. Two years later, Elvis was born.
He talked about his father’s lack of education, his struggle learning English and his work ethic. He was skilled in construction, so young Elvis and his brothers worked with their father building houses. Now 87, his father was a disciplinarian and taught his children the value of hard work, Grbac said. Although he loved his family deeply, he rarely verbalized it.
Sunday was the Lord’s day and family time, Grbac said, noting he still cherishes Sunday dinners at his parents’ house.
“It is a blessing to be around him,” Grbac said of his father. “I am proud to say I am his son. Remember this day as you share this time,” he told the retreatants, referencing the special bond that exists between fathers and sons.
He recalled one time early in his career when his father overheard some fans saying harsh things about him. Grbac said it hurt his father and incidents like that were one of the reasons he decided to retire early from the NFL.
Grbac also shared how his oldest child, now 30, was born with spina bifida and needed major surgery when he was 10 months old. It was successful and he lives a normal life.
“But that changed my life … It galvanized my marriage and forced me to focus on my priorities,” Grbac said, noting he was a high-profile NFL quarterback at that time. Grbac, a St. Joseph High School (now Villa Angela-St. Joseph) alumnus, and his wife Lori, a Lake Catholic graduate, were high school sweethearts. They’ve been married 32 years.
As the children grew up, Grbac said he sometimes had to step back and reassess his parenting methods. He said offering them confidential, one-on-one time in his home office was a game-changer in improving their relationship. “What’s said in the office stays in the office,” he said, adding they still request meetings with him.
Grbac said he enjoys a “great” relationship with his children, sons 30 and 28, and his daughter, 26. But he acknowledged that “I couldn’t have gotten where I am without the intervention of my heavenly Father.”
A Lenten mission he attended several years ago helped him reorient his life to God. “It changed me,” he said.
“God always walks with you and leads you through things,” he said, encouraging the retreatants to ask if God is at the center of their lives. “If you get that right, everything else falls into place.”